The Thanksgiving Day Haven of Glory

To get this beautiful turkey dinner that i have grown up my whole life assuming just magically appeared at my aunts house every year around this time ..  

you must do horrible things .. 

continue through this post only if you are not on your way to dinner .. 

                               

So i am hosting a little Thanksgiving dinner at my apartment ... that's right.  My little sister is coming from Dallas, JR is going to stick around here too, and then my beautiful cousin is coming as well, she may or may not bring her on again off again love of JR's life ..

Anyhow... my mom is quite honestly an amazing cook.  The woman can turn pantry items into some fancy gourmet stuff.  I like to think that one day i too will be this amazing cook and everyone will love coming over to my house for meals and stuff.  I get to thinking, this is my debut dinner!!

I quickly and giddily skip to the computer to google just how exactly i was to prepare and bake a Thanksgiving Day Turkey.  

Below are just a few of the horrific scenes that showed up just  moments in front of me after i plugged in  GOOGLE:  "How to bake a turkey like mom does"

This was actually the first picture that i saw, upon seeing this picture is when i had officially decided that turkey baking just wasn't something that that i would excel at and that i was fine with that realization.  i decided right then and there that i was going to do myself, the poor bird i theoretically would get my hands on, and everyone who would be subjected to my turkey baking pit falls a favor and just not try ...

 The rest of these pictures are just really for good measure so that everyone out there will really understand why i just cannot do this whole turkey bake thing ...

First of all this is what they leave inside for you to pull out of it's ass!!
Uhhhh ... NO Thanks.

Above = Horrifying

I mean really?!

Who the heck ever thought this was a good idea??

Excuse me .. i am to do what now??

This is the stuff that goes in the gravy .. Why?? 

Then you shove the dressing right on up its ass and tie it up with a little bow tie of rope.

So the above process is clearly not something that I am going to be venturing into.  Not this year. Not next year.  Not ever.

I found the Thanksgiving Day Haven of Glory.

i GOOGLED : "Pre-cooked Thanksgiving turkeys"

As i pressed search a beam of light from my track lighting actually seemed to get brighter.  I am sure this was God and not a normal ol' power stream ...

  i scroll down through my search results and this is what i found ...

CLICK HERE & LEAVE BEHIND YOUR THANKSGIVING DAY STRESS & TURKEY WOES FOR EVER AND EVER AND EVER AND EVER! YOU'RE WELCOME.

IF YOU HAVE AN OVER-ACTIVE IMAGINATION...

DONT watch Gangland and then venture out into San Antonio...

So last night me and JR are watching Gangland, you know the documentary series of all things gang-like and scary.  Anyhow, today i am out and about running some errands for JR, cause i am a super great girlfriend and i do nice stuff like that for him since i have days off during the week ... i notice that there is some traffic on the highway so i decide to stick to the access road.  Totally normal train of thought.  Right.  Only now the access road has created an uncomfortably obtuse angle with the highway, and is forcing me in a direction that is clearly not the shortest rout back home; also, its no longer called the "access road", it actually has a name now, Enter Gangland At Your Own Risk Dr. I mean W. San Jose Ave.  Now this has happened to me several times before since i have been residing in San Antonio, however this is the first time it has happened since i had a little lesson from the Gangland Documentary on what gang tag really means ...

Please Note: You do not want to know what gang tag really means, and you for sure don't want to see it in real life right on the house to the left of you, just a mere 20 ft away.

According to the Gangland Documentary we watched last night, gangs are a very racist people, and also according to what i leaned about gang tag last night, i was driving around in some very serious hispanic gangland territory.   There were double 13's and arrows all over the place (double 13's have something to do with the mexican prison gang called the Mexican Mafia, 'M' is the 13th letter in the alphabet and so there are 2 of them hence the double 13's ... anyways its all very intense stuff), there were even road blocks so that you couldn't go all the way down certain streets.

The look on my face must have been a classic, i am literally just waiting for some gang lord to spot my little silver eclipse with all the 'KEEP AUSTIN WEIRD' and 'Peace: Back by popular demand' etc. bumper stickers on the back of it, and pull me from my car, discover that a white girl is perusing his streets and then god knows what he will do ... in my mind there was gang rape and murder involved ... at this point i am wondering just how much positive leverage my hispanic boyfriend might be, it was his errands i was running remember?  If not for my returning his Apple TV, i would have never accidentally ventured into the 12th Ward ...

This is what i reverted to this afternoon. 

With every turn i feel like i am walking the plank ... i grab my phone  thinking i can mapquest my way out of this situation, but unfortunately mapquest didnt recognize the corner of "Oh f&$#" and "Holy $#&!"  Some how i manage to make enough right hand turns to find my way back to a highway again, Hallelujah, and praise the lord ...

Now i am wondering just how serious Jesus was taking me when i promised that i would stop being judgmental if he would just get me out of there ...

The Khloe Kardashian Episode.

This morning me and JR are a million miles away off of the coast of some amazing beach on a cruise for Non-Smokers only.  AWESOME!  We are having a wonderful time the ship is all kinds of great, i am looking way better in my bikini than any angle of reality could ever make happen.  We are both tan, JR is even in one of those foreign brief swim suite things, not the banana hammock Speedo ones, anyway, it was all very exotic and exciting.  And then JR's phone rings... He answers and thinks i cant here him call this caller person 'BABY'.  WTF!!  Oh Hell no!  He proceeds to tell this "baby" that she can do all the shopping she wants.  Um, NO.  'Baby' cannot shop!  Who the hell is 'Baby'?!!

He gets off the phone.   My heart is beating 1.8 miles per hour.  I am so pisted.  Who was that on the phone??!!

Apparently it was Khloe Kardashian!!!?! 
JR has been cheating on my with Khloe Kardashian!


Shame on you Khloe.

Then I woke up.  Super irritated, but thanking god i wasn't really on this non-smoking only (however that is a great idea) cruise ship with Khloe Kardashian pawing at my man.  **SLUT. 

I proceeded to blink like 20 times, and then i swing my head around as fast as i ever have before i am sure of it, and wake JR up at 7:45am with an elbow to his side and the conversation that proceeded went as follows...

ME: "Do you think Khole Kardashian is prettier than me??"
JR:  Very sleepy eyed "What?"
ME: Both brow lifted as high as they can go, and enunciating as if i were talking to a small child "DO-YOU-THINK-KHLOE-KARDASHIAN-IS-PRETTIER-THAN-ME?!?"
JR:  Totally smiling "Uhh ... Which one is Khloe?"
ME: Hitting him with one of our decorative pillows "DOES IT MATTER??!?"

LOL!!

What I learned ... JR clearly thinks one of the Kardashian sisters is prettier than me, he just doesn't know which one ...

**The SLUT comment was in the nicest possible way of course. You know you're my girl Khlo!

I Am Going To Be An AUNTIE!!

MY BF:

(Follow her blog: www.diaperbagsandfashionmags.blogspot.com

she's alot of awesomeness, you'll love her)

Kelly is HAVING A BABY!!

Please dont ask me why the h%!! im wearing a mini skirt and heals on the moon...

Below are my ideas of their baby room : ) hopefully i will get to help...

Great look... vintage ... modern ... interesting ... eye catching ... LOVE

   

i just cannot WAIT for this little muffin to make his? her? debut cameo!

I love you KELLY KELLY!!



Keeping Busy On My Days Off.

The blank wall that has haunted me since we moved into our apartment:

Be Gone With You!

BLANK WALL NO MORE!

There is an endless possibility to mixing and matching art...

Some of JR's band art.  i love it.  Try experimenting with different colored matting.  Add your own sense of style and creativity to the art you enjoy.  We chose black w/ a pewter frame, clean and modern was the goal.  

This is one of my oils.  i have always loved how this piece is a bright chameleon.  It goes with nothing, and there fore it goes with everything.  Try leaning large art along the wall on the floor, that way your decor is from the ground up.  Don't limit yourself to eye level aesthetics only, besides this is a very cozy look and can be incorporated with any decor style. 

                                   

This is 1 of 2 prints we got in Florida this summer at the Dali Museum.  i absolutely love this one.  i wanted to matt it in red velvet but JR is not quite as adventurous as i am with framing.  None the less it turned out great, the gold moulding frame is a great addition to our eclectic feel i think. 

This is another one of my oils, and this was the easiest piece to hang.  It fits perfectly here, the scale is just as big as the arm chair in front of it witch creates ownership of the nook.  It also brings color and life to that end of the room  It was either a big colorful pillow or a big colorful art piece... i already had the art so it was a no brain'er. 

   

                           

i had so much fun playing decorator in our apartment this week.  Back to work tomorrow...

Hope you like! 

I Think I Missed Halloween...

Yep.  I did.  It passed me right on by.  This is the first year in my 27 years that I have no Jack-o-Lantern sitting by my front porch.  Didnt dress up.  Didnt pass out not one trick or even a treat ... I think i might becoming an old fuddy duddy!

CURRENT MISSION: TAKE BACK LIFE!!