The Thanksgiving Day Haven of Glory

To get this beautiful turkey dinner that i have grown up my whole life assuming just magically appeared at my aunts house every year around this time ..  

you must do horrible things .. 

continue through this post only if you are not on your way to dinner .. 

                               

So i am hosting a little Thanksgiving dinner at my apartment ... that's right.  My little sister is coming from Dallas, JR is going to stick around here too, and then my beautiful cousin is coming as well, she may or may not bring her on again off again love of JR's life ..

Anyhow... my mom is quite honestly an amazing cook.  The woman can turn pantry items into some fancy gourmet stuff.  I like to think that one day i too will be this amazing cook and everyone will love coming over to my house for meals and stuff.  I get to thinking, this is my debut dinner!!

I quickly and giddily skip to the computer to google just how exactly i was to prepare and bake a Thanksgiving Day Turkey.  

Below are just a few of the horrific scenes that showed up just  moments in front of me after i plugged in  GOOGLE:  "How to bake a turkey like mom does"

This was actually the first picture that i saw, upon seeing this picture is when i had officially decided that turkey baking just wasn't something that that i would excel at and that i was fine with that realization.  i decided right then and there that i was going to do myself, the poor bird i theoretically would get my hands on, and everyone who would be subjected to my turkey baking pit falls a favor and just not try ...

 The rest of these pictures are just really for good measure so that everyone out there will really understand why i just cannot do this whole turkey bake thing ...

First of all this is what they leave inside for you to pull out of it's ass!!
Uhhhh ... NO Thanks.

Above = Horrifying

I mean really?!

Who the heck ever thought this was a good idea??

Excuse me .. i am to do what now??

This is the stuff that goes in the gravy .. Why?? 

Then you shove the dressing right on up its ass and tie it up with a little bow tie of rope.

So the above process is clearly not something that I am going to be venturing into.  Not this year. Not next year.  Not ever.

I found the Thanksgiving Day Haven of Glory.

i GOOGLED : "Pre-cooked Thanksgiving turkeys"

As i pressed search a beam of light from my track lighting actually seemed to get brighter.  I am sure this was God and not a normal ol' power stream ...

  i scroll down through my search results and this is what i found ...

CLICK HERE & LEAVE BEHIND YOUR THANKSGIVING DAY STRESS & TURKEY WOES FOR EVER AND EVER AND EVER AND EVER! YOU'RE WELCOME.